The Coldest of Days. . .

. . .are here. A weekend of continuous pouring rain and icy roads prevented us from going to our Bible study on Saturday night. It’s a good 45-50 min away with highways and overpasses. Hubby even opted out of going to his usual badminton game and if one knows Paul, one knows he never misses his badminton games, so the weather was THAT bad. We cooked all our meals at home over this weekend, which is a rare thing for us. Hubby did some studying while I made good on the promise to clean the apartment. We watched a movie, had hot green tea, played with Kitty. . .it was a good weekend.

Come Monday, the roads were still icy. I had just a moment of debate in my head whether I should go to the hospital or not. Honestly, there are no patients that depended on me, no one’s care or health would be jeopardized if I wasn’t there. Why should I drive in the darkness of pre-dawn under dangerous conditions? The answer is simple: people expect me to be there and I don’t want to make a bad impression like I wasn't committed. In a short few months, I would become responsible for patient care and no more cushy hiding under medical student status.

Never in my short driving life have I driven under such precarious conditions. It took me half a hour to just de-ice my car, and another one and half hours to just get to the hospital while driving 20 mph. While inching my way there, I scolded myself for waking up at 5am instead of 4am, but on several occasions when I felt myself skidding over sleets of ice, I only cared a bout getting through the next hundred feet without an accident. A pick-up truck in front of me lost control and did a full 180 degree turn in front of me. Luckily, I kept a far enough distance behind him to allow him time to move to the side of the road. I thought of my hubby, still sleeping in our warm bed, and I was happy that he has a flexible work schedule and won’t be heading out until the sun come out. I was ever so grateful to God for allowing me to make it safely there and back home that day.

The bitter cold air gave me a heavy heart for another reason. I thought of Blacky and wondered how he has been faring. I haven’t put food out for him on our back porch for a while so I haven’t seen him as of late. I left food for him a little further away from our apartment and by the empty container I know he was eating. I wish the matter was as simple as “out of mind, out of sight.” Is it silly for me to feel so sad and so guilty over a stray cat? According to Christian beliefs animals don’t have souls, and being a Christian is so much about caring for souls that will go to eternity, why should I feel so much for animals? No doubt, there are people that think my concerns are frivalous. Aren't there more pressing humanitarian needs like the work done by Angelina Jolie? But there's something in animals' helplessness and innocence grabs me and won’t let me go. Perhaps I don't have my "priorities" right but I decided I had to do as much for Blacky as was within reasonable means for me. Hubby said, “there are many other homeless cats out there, you can’t help them all.” But I know I can help this one. After work today, I purchased a collapsible cloth cage. One of those tent thingies that people use when they take their dogs out camping. I could let Blacky stay in there in our kitchen so he has room to move around and be warm and more importantly, stay out of contact with Kitty. When I came home, I indeed saw a cat on our back porch. There is a box with a soft blanket on my porch that Blacky sleeps in sometimes. Except it wasn’t Blacky, it was the all-white unfriendly cat! She actually allowed me to get close to her. What I saw was enough to make me cry. She was terribly smelly, was visibly weak, her nose and mouth were bloody, and on closer exam, she had bloody mucus dripping from her mouth. For a few seconds, we stared at each other in silence and I could hear her breath. I think she has pneumonia. Then suddenly, she darted away. I realize I was doing too little too late. Blacky is probably sick and dying somewhere, too. How could they defend themselves against this bitter cold? I suppose in my busyness with work and interviews, I had hoped they were doing okay somehow or that someone else was taking care of them. I feel just terrible. I long for these cold days to be over. . .