Day of the Last Interview

I had my last residency interview today. Yea!!!!

Here's me being flippant before heading out.

Getting a last look in the mirror.

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I'm so happy to be putting away this suit for another 3 years when I'll be interviewing for a JOB job. Well, I hope I'll get to wear it again unless the fashion drastically changes or if my girth increases by too much in three years! On a more serious note, I have some heavy thinking and decision-making to do in the next few days as to how I will rank the programs. I will be doing a lot of praying, consulting people especially hubby, weighing pros and cons, throwing dice, etc. . .update later.

Making the Best out of the Unexpected

I came home this afternoon to find that we had no electricity. I walked over to the apt office and was told to check my breakers inside and then the maintenance guy will check them outside. I thought nothing of it and left to go grocery shopping thinking that by the time I get back, the electricity will be fixed. But I was wrong. By this time, I knew I needed to call TXU (electrical company). The only problem is I didn't have my phone, I just happen to have left it at work today! I hurried to the office and it was already 5min past their closing time of 6pm. I knew someone was still in there and I pounded the door until they opened. Hubby wouldn't be home for a couple more hours and I asked to use their phone. It turns out TXU turned off our electricy for non-payment. There was a mix-up with our on-line automatic deduction plan, really no fault of our own. So 20 minutes of talking and being on hold later, they promised to reconnect the power but it might be midnight before it gets done. I thought of the 10 bags of grocery in my car spoiling by the minute. Why do unlucky things always happen in tandem??


I lit up all the candles I could find in our dark apartment. Hubby came home soon after. "Oh, what's going on? Why so romantic?" Always a funny one, hubby is! After butting heads with the TXU people some more on the phone, we headed out for dinner and picked up more candles. It WAS very romantic, our small apartment all lit up! It's like Valentine's Day came early. Hubby started to settle down to do some reading by candlelight and it reminded him of one of those stories Chinese parents tell their children about an ancient Chinese scholar who save every bit of money just so he can buy lamp oil for studying. Just as I was accepting the fact that I couldn't take a shower tonight (no hot water) and that I'll have to find an alternative for alarm, the refrigerator started humming and the light came back on! I felt just a pinge of momentary regret for having to blow out all my pretty candles, but a small price to pay for a hot shower!

Finally putting our old wedding favors to some use.

Now I know what all those holes are for!

What's in your freezer?

Up to today, if you asked me what's in my freezer, I wouldn't be able to tell you! Paul has been the one shopping mostly and stocking up our freezer. He's always been the better cook of us two. He's fond of making soups, especially pork rib soup with daikon and bak ku teh (pork with tea/herbs soup). Paul also likes to make chicken curry and anything with seafood. He likes to make meaty dishes trying venison, duck, etc. while I'm more comfortable with vegetable cooking. Recently, however, there's been a switch in the household. I've picked up the responsibility of grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning. I had always thought I'm too busy with a mindset that I need to be either studying or thinking about studying with my time. I realize that it no longer has to be true this year with my time being so carte blanche outside of rotations. Hubby is now the one taking a class and spending his non-work time studying and doing homework. It's been great knowing that I can lend support for him in ways of making hot green tea or bringing chocolate treats for him during study sessions. I'm also cooking more and more and hubby is very grateful about it. It truly makes me feel more like a wife! It use to be on the weekends, the first thing we do after waking up is asking each other the question, "where do you want to go for lunch today?" Now, I've gotten in a habit of whiping up a meal for two in no time! My cooking is far from great and much of it is still a trial and error. The stuffing and chicken casserole did not work out very well last week but my Chinese cabbage with shrimps and scallops today was delicious!

So, back to the freezer. It use to be a formidable and uncharted territory for me, I didn't know what was way back there and I didn't want to find out! But today, I finally got up the nerve because I was willing to conquer whatever I find there. I found two packages of frozen tomatoes bearing the handiwork of my mom. She must have given them to us during her visit last month. No problem! They will make a good and easy "tomatoes with eggs" dish. I have already taken care of all the frozen eggplants last week. There were also packages of meat-looking things, one was a bass hubby bought from Hong Kong Market and there was another wrapped up and cut up fish with no identification. I think it's another present from my mom? How can I cook it not knowing what kind of fish it is? It should be interesting.

Helplessness

Hubby said that Kitty followed him into the bathroom this morning and after his shower, Kitty jumped into the bathtub and started to drink the bath water! She's never done that before! In fact, she hates the bathtub due to her profound dislike of baths.

Later that morning when I was feeding Kitty, I realized her water bowl is not there! I had put it on the counter yesterday and forgot to put it back on the floor for her! Kitty must have been so thirsty to be drinking bath water! Bad mommy me for overlooking this.

I realize just how helpless cats are, and how much they are at the mercy of their people and humans in general. It's not like they can communicate their needs verbally, and certainly can't take money to get themselves food if they are hungry. Sounds like babies, doesn't it? In the words of a friend, "dogs and cats are like little children that never grow up."

A Shopping Saturday

Paul dropped me off at the mall in Dallas today before he went to his badminton games. I felt the itch to go shopping this weekend. My goal is to catch the winter sales and stock up on clinical attire for my intern year as I don't plan to have shopping time as an intern. I'd say it was goal accomplished! The one question going through my mind shopping today was, "will this look good with my white coat?" I avoided the teenager stores (Forever 21, etc.) and junior sections as not to be tempted to buy cute tees or more jeans. I have enough of those things and since I spend 90% of my time wearing "work clothes," it's where I need to invest my shopping money from now on. Here are some of the "harvests" from NY&Co, Ann Taylor's and Macy's.

My first cowl neck sweater. Many turtleneck sweaters were on sale, too but they usually make me feel too hot indoors so I didn't buy any.

The traditional striped dress shirt. I'v got several already in various colors and stripped patterns. They are a staple to my wordrobe since they are wearable for the hot summer months and the winter time.

Adding some pizazz to my line of boring khaki/black only pants. From L to R, grey pin stripped, light brown plaid, and "wool-like" cotton pants.

And finally, no nonsense pumps with a touch of heel. This is about as high as I can go with heels walking all day in the clinic/hospital. I wish I could wear the tall stilettos and high-heeled ankle boots I see some female residents wear but my feet just won't allow it for longer than a couple of hours. Even with these small heels, I have to alternate the days with wearing my super-comfy-almost-orthopedic-yet-dressy shoes. Ahh, fashion comes with a high price! I pick comfort over fashion, though when it comes to work.

A Card.

I received a card from Laurel today. I love it when she sends cards for the small occasions in life.

Watermelon, my favorite fruit. And it says, "A life without love is like a year without summer." -Swedish Proverb-

Nice quote.

Isn't It Ironic??

I was driving one day and saw a car with numerous bumper stickers. One of which said, "Guns Don't Kill People, Drivers With Cell Phones Do." I looked at the driver through the windows, and what was he doing??! Talking on a cell phone!!

Eggplant Supper Stew Recipe--a keeper!

My mother gave us bags and bags of frozen cooked eggplant. This might sound like a strange thing, definitely not found in any Wal-Mart freezer section. Well, let's just say my parents had a huge eggplant harvest in their garden this past summer. They are always giving away their fresh veggies by the baskets to their friends or neighbors, and still they have tons of tomatos, eggplants, green beans, etc. left at end of the season for freezing. I was getting very tired of eating these frozen eggplant by stir frying with onions and garlic. The dish is never as good as with fresh eggplants anyways. In an attempt to clear out our freezer and to make frozen eggplant more appetizing, I found this following recipe:

Eggplant Supper Stew
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Eggplant-Supper-Soup/Detail.aspx

INGREDIENTS
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 pound ground beef
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 pound eggplant, diced
3/4 cup sliced carrots
3/4 cup sliced celery
2 (14.5 ounce) cans Italian diced tomatoes, drained
2 (14 ounce) cans beef broth
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 cup dry macaroni
2 teaspoons chopped fresh parsley
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

DIRECTIONS
Heat the oil in a skillet over medium heat, and cook the onion, beef, and garlic until beef is evenly brown. Drain grease, and mix in eggplant, carrots, celery, and tomatoes. Pour in beef broth. Mix in sugar, and season with nutmeg, salt, and pepper. Cook and stir until heated through.
Mix macaroni into the soup, and continue cooking 12 minutes, or until macaroni is al dente. Mix in parsley. Top with Parmesan chreese to serve.

It was quite good! Tastes like a beef stew. BTW, I used way more oil than the recipe asked for; I cooked the veggies in ample oil before adding broth. I omitted the macaroni, parsley and parmesan cheese. Hubby suggested that I use chunky beef next time instead of ground beef.

I had it with baguette bread and hubby had some over his brown rice. This is a very good left-over food which is good since I made a whole pot of it. And best of all, this was a great way to use up the frozen eggplants! So, I'm ready next time mom stuffs our freezer full of eggplants!

My Favorite American Recipes

Here are some simple, all-American recipes, tested and proven by me. Purists will say these are semi-homemade, but they are very delicious so who minds a little time saved? These are not the type of home cooking that hubby will enjoy on a daily basis, as he is all Chinese when it comes to eating. But I love cooking American, so easy and very much comfort food to me even though I didn't grow up with it at home. These are very good cook-ahead type of foods that come handy at a potluck or our Saturday night Bible study dinners. I'm looking forward to expanding my Asian cooking repertoire, so hubby can benefit more, but I consider many Asian cooking too advanced for me right now.
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Cheesy Cornbread

Ingredients
1 (10 1/2-ounce) box Jiffy cornbread mix
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 (8-ounce) can cream-style corn
3 eggs
1/2 cup grated extra sharp Cheddar cheese

Instructions
1. Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly grease an 8- or 9-inch square pan. 2. In a medium bowl, mix cornbread mix, sour cream, oil, corn, eggs and cheese. Pour batter into pan. 3. Bake 45 minutes or until knife inserted into center comes out clean. Cut into squares.
Serves 9.
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Green Bean Casserole

INGREDIENTS:
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup
4 cups cooked green beans (2 cans)
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/2 cup milk
1 1/3 cups French fried onions

PREPARATION:
Mix soup, milk and pepper in a 1 1/2-quart casserole dish. Stir in beans and 2/3 cup of the fried onions. Bake for about 25 minutes at 350 degrees F. Top with the remaining 2/3 cup fried onions and bake about 5 more minutes, until onions are lightly browned.
Serves 6.
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'Joy of Cooking' Quick Tuna Casserole

4-5 servings
Irma S. Rombauer considered this an excellent emergency dish
INGREDIENTS:
12 ounces canned or pouch tuna, drained
2 cups cooked egg noodles or elbow macaroni (about 4 ounces uncooked)
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 cup frozen green peas, thawed, or one 8-ounce can green peas, drained
3/4 cup milk
1/4 cup chopped pimentos or minced red bell pepper (optional)
2 tablespoons minced scallions or onion (optional)
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce or red pepper sauce (optional)
1/2 cup dry bread crumbs, fine cracker crumbs or crushed cornflakes
1/2 cup grated Parmesan (optional)
2-3 tablespoons butter, melted

INSTRUCTIONS:
Instructions: Preheat the oven to 375°. Grease a shallow 1 1/2-2 quart baking dish.
Place the tuna into a mixing bowl and break into chunks with a fork. Stir in until just combined the noodles, condensed soup, peas, milk and optional pimentos, scallions and Worcestershire sauce, if desired. Turn this mixture into the prepared dish. Mix together the bread crumbs, Parmesan, if using, and melted butter and sprinkle on top. Bake until top is bubbling and browned 25 to 35 minutes.

Per serving: 350 calories, 26 g protein, 34 g carbohydrate, 12 g fat (5 g saturated), 57 mg cholesterol, 800 mg sodium, 3 g fiber.
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Guacamole

2 ripe avocados
½ red onion, minced (about 1/2 cup)
1-2 serrano chiles, stems and seeds removed, minced
2 tablespoons cilantro leaves, finely chopped
1 tablespoon of fresh lime or lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
A dash of freshly grated black pepper
1/2 ripe tomato, seeds and pulp removed, chopped

Garnish with red radishes or jicama. Serve with tortilla chips.

1 Cut avocados in half. Remove seed. Scoop out avacado from the peel, put in a mixing bowl.
2 Using a fork, mash the avocado. Add the chopped onion, cilantro, lime or lemon, salt and pepper and mash some more. Chili peppers vary individually in their hotness. So, start with a half of one chili pepper and add to the guacamole to your desired degree of hotness. Be careful handling the peppers; wash your hands thoroughly after handling and do not touch your eyes or the area near your eyes with your hands for several hours.
Keep the tomatoes separate until ready to serve.
Remember that much of this is done to taste because of the variability in the fresh ingredients. Start with this recipe and adjust to your taste.
3 Cover with plastic wrap directly on the surface of the guacamole to prevent oxidation from the air reaching it. Refrigerate until ready.
4 Just before serving, add the chopped tomato to the guacamole and mix.
Serves 2-4.
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Beef Lasagna

8 ounces lasagna noodles
1 pound lean ground beef
1/2 cup chopped onion
8 ounces mushrooms, optional
1 jar (about 16 ounces) spaghetti sauce, your favorite
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dried leaf oregano, crumbled
1/2 teaspoon dried leaf basil, crumbled
1 1/2 cups ricotta cheese
2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese
3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Cook lasagna noodles according to package directions; drain and set aside. In a large skillet, brown beef, onion, and mushrooms; drain well. Stir in spaghetti sauce, garlic powder, salt, oregano, and basil. In a 2-quart buttered baking dish (about 11x7x2-inches), layer 1/3 of the lasagna noodles, 1/3 of the sauce and 1/3 of the ricotta cheese, Monterey Jack cheese, and Parmesan cheeses. Repeat layers twice. Bake lasagna for 30 minutes, or until thoroughly heated and bubbly. Let stand for 8 to 10 minutes before cutting and serving. Serves 6 to 8.
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SPINACH DIP

1 pkg. chopped spinach
1 cup sour cream
1 cup of mayonnaise
1 pkg. Knorr vegetable mix/Hidden Valley Range Dressing Dry Mix
Optional: chopped water chestnuts, chopped red onions, chopped olives

Mix sour cream, mayonnaise and vegetable mix together. Drain and add spinach.
Serve with pumpernickel bread! Also good with crackers!

(Prepare at least 30 minutes before serving to give the vegetable mix enough time to soften.)
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Gumbo

1 box of Zatarain's Gumbo mix
1 medium onion, (chopped)
1 large green pepper (chopped)
1 cup celery (chopped)
2 cans chicken broth
1 can tomato paste
1 can spicy stewed tomatoes
1 package frozen okra
1 can light kidney beans (drained)
1 small can whole jalapeno peppers, (sliced)
1 16 oz. package frozen peeled shrimp
1 pound hot Italian sausage (sliced)
1 pound frozen or fresh fish filets, cut into chunks (catfish, flounder, bass etc.)
Hot sauce (add to taste)
Salt (to taste)
Pepper (to taste)
Cayenne pepper (1 tsp)

In a large pot, combine onions, green pepper, celery and sausage with one can of the chicken broth. Cook over high heat until onions become soft. Reduce to medium heat; add all other ingredients except for fish and shrimp. Simmer for at least an hour, stirring occasionally, adding hot sauce to taste. Add up to a cup of water until desired consistency is reached. 15-20 minutes before serving, add fish and shrimp. Very good with French baguette bread!

The Return of Blacky Cat

I returned home from my UTSW residency interview this afternoon and couldn’t find Kitty anywhere in the house. Then I realized she’s been outside all day. Sometimes I let her out before I leave for the day so she can have her “morning potty time,” and then Paul will let her back in before he leaves for work. Perhaps hubby was in a hurry and Kitty just didn’t come back. So I ate a snack, bundled up, and went outside to look for her. Before I could even close the door, Kitty was right there and darted inside from the cold. But guess who was with her? Blacky! I was happy to see Blacky and seeing that he’s doing okay! It’s been weeks since I’ve seen him and I feared the worst had happened to him in the cruel weather. Blacky, being polite and timid, moved slowly and cautiously outside the doorway, until I invited him in, too. Sometime ago, Kitty stopped hissing at Blacky and they have been running around together outside. I think they are buddies now, actually it seems like Blacky is Kitty’s sidekick because he’s always following her around.

In a cage. I put water and food in there for him and Blacky started wolfing down the chow like he was crazy hungry until the last morsel was gone.

Blacky, here out for a short break (b/c of all his meowing). I did not let him roam outside of the kitchen area. Kitty was lying close by and seemed very nonchalant with the new visitor.

A close-up. BTW, Blacky revealed his anatomy enough to show me that he is indeed a male cat. I always knew there was something tom-catish about Blacky.

Blacky was in much better shape than I thought. He's not smelly at all, and the wound at the nape of his neck is now closed, crusted, and dry. I don't see any signs of infection. I don't know how he got along in that below freezing weather. He's a very personable cat, it's a shame he's homeless. So now, the question is, what am I to do with him? My main concern is for his immediate health and safety, aka--having food, water, and shelter from the cold. First off, perhaps hubby would help me giving him a bath. I don't know about Blacky, but a clean cat will make me feel much better. Then, I'll try (again) to place him with a non-kill shelter. Note to self: absolutely no keeping of stray cat this time! . . .although Blacky does get along with Kitty awfully well . . .

Kitty Pictures

Guess who? Nope, this is not me, just a photo mommy found on the internet, but it sure looks like me!!

Here's me!! Humans are so strong, they just pick me up and hold me whenever they want.

Let me out!!! Need to pee pee nowwww!! And no, I refuse to use that cat litter made of corn!

My favorite thing to do, cat naps. I AM a cat, you know!

Play time!

Sleepy-time, again. . .

Things People Say

"If you're gold, then you will shine here."
--A rock star speaking of Beijing during an interview on NPR

"When falling rain flirts with below freezing weather, things can get dangerous very quickly."
--The Weatherman on TV

"If he doesn't care, why should we?"
--Doctor speaking of a patient who's repeatedly non-compliant with taking his medications

"I thought ironic meant 'made up entirely of iron.'"
- Arthur Spooner in an episode of "The King of Queens"

The Coldest of Days. . .

. . .are here. A weekend of continuous pouring rain and icy roads prevented us from going to our Bible study on Saturday night. It’s a good 45-50 min away with highways and overpasses. Hubby even opted out of going to his usual badminton game and if one knows Paul, one knows he never misses his badminton games, so the weather was THAT bad. We cooked all our meals at home over this weekend, which is a rare thing for us. Hubby did some studying while I made good on the promise to clean the apartment. We watched a movie, had hot green tea, played with Kitty. . .it was a good weekend.

Come Monday, the roads were still icy. I had just a moment of debate in my head whether I should go to the hospital or not. Honestly, there are no patients that depended on me, no one’s care or health would be jeopardized if I wasn’t there. Why should I drive in the darkness of pre-dawn under dangerous conditions? The answer is simple: people expect me to be there and I don’t want to make a bad impression like I wasn't committed. In a short few months, I would become responsible for patient care and no more cushy hiding under medical student status.

Never in my short driving life have I driven under such precarious conditions. It took me half a hour to just de-ice my car, and another one and half hours to just get to the hospital while driving 20 mph. While inching my way there, I scolded myself for waking up at 5am instead of 4am, but on several occasions when I felt myself skidding over sleets of ice, I only cared a bout getting through the next hundred feet without an accident. A pick-up truck in front of me lost control and did a full 180 degree turn in front of me. Luckily, I kept a far enough distance behind him to allow him time to move to the side of the road. I thought of my hubby, still sleeping in our warm bed, and I was happy that he has a flexible work schedule and won’t be heading out until the sun come out. I was ever so grateful to God for allowing me to make it safely there and back home that day.

The bitter cold air gave me a heavy heart for another reason. I thought of Blacky and wondered how he has been faring. I haven’t put food out for him on our back porch for a while so I haven’t seen him as of late. I left food for him a little further away from our apartment and by the empty container I know he was eating. I wish the matter was as simple as “out of mind, out of sight.” Is it silly for me to feel so sad and so guilty over a stray cat? According to Christian beliefs animals don’t have souls, and being a Christian is so much about caring for souls that will go to eternity, why should I feel so much for animals? No doubt, there are people that think my concerns are frivalous. Aren't there more pressing humanitarian needs like the work done by Angelina Jolie? But there's something in animals' helplessness and innocence grabs me and won’t let me go. Perhaps I don't have my "priorities" right but I decided I had to do as much for Blacky as was within reasonable means for me. Hubby said, “there are many other homeless cats out there, you can’t help them all.” But I know I can help this one. After work today, I purchased a collapsible cloth cage. One of those tent thingies that people use when they take their dogs out camping. I could let Blacky stay in there in our kitchen so he has room to move around and be warm and more importantly, stay out of contact with Kitty. When I came home, I indeed saw a cat on our back porch. There is a box with a soft blanket on my porch that Blacky sleeps in sometimes. Except it wasn’t Blacky, it was the all-white unfriendly cat! She actually allowed me to get close to her. What I saw was enough to make me cry. She was terribly smelly, was visibly weak, her nose and mouth were bloody, and on closer exam, she had bloody mucus dripping from her mouth. For a few seconds, we stared at each other in silence and I could hear her breath. I think she has pneumonia. Then suddenly, she darted away. I realize I was doing too little too late. Blacky is probably sick and dying somewhere, too. How could they defend themselves against this bitter cold? I suppose in my busyness with work and interviews, I had hoped they were doing okay somehow or that someone else was taking care of them. I feel just terrible. I long for these cold days to be over. . .

Home Manicure

I gave myself a French manicure at home the other day in preparation for my first residency interview. It's done with one of those kits containing plastic nails and superglue. There are also kits with nail polishes and tape strips for you to do French manicure on your own nails. I found out from experience, however, that I'd never have enough bilateral hand coordination to master the art of the latter method.

I have always admired the women I see in clinics, usually nurses, secretaries and most definitely all the drug reps, who have perfect French manicured nails. They also wear heavy but attractive make-up and a strong but often pleasant scent of perfume. You know, the type of women who always remember to reapply their lipstick after lunch and their hair never seem to be out of place. So anyways, I'm not transforming my flat-heeled, hair-in-ponytail self into one of them, but I did want to have those perfectly fake yet none-the-less perfect-looking nails. I have, on a few special occasions, gone to a nail place to have a manicure and/or pedicure done. Afterwards, I could not stop looking at my own nails. They are too cute to be my own nails! I feel simply dainty! Then inevitably, the polish chip, piece by piece, until I have no choice but to wipe it all off with polish remover. The bittersweet feeling of loosing my perfected nails is like seeing a fresh bouquet of flowers fade until the day it has to be thrown into the trash. Despite the superficial joy of going to a nail salon, I doubt I will indulge again anytime soon. It's not just the high cost of keeping up the habit of white-tipped nails, it more of the fear of contracting ugly and disfiguring skin infections. I've seen cases in the clinics and it's not pretty! So, until the health department imposes some industry standards on nail salons like sterile tools and anti-septic foot basins, I'm stuck with my own self-service. Here I was, attempting to recreate beauty with plastics and glue.

The result. Not perfect, and a little messy. It must take a ambidextrous persone to get it right. I got glue on my finger pads and had to dab and soak it with acetone on Q-tips to get it off. Takes a day to get use to these long nails as my "own." Typing becomes a little harder, too

That Which Overwhelms

I had my first interview today at Baylor Garland. Although it was more laid back than usual since I already know everyone (faculty and residents), but I still got some hard questions that kept me on my toes. Wearing a black suit set and knowing that you are being interviewed, scrutinized and evaluated have a way to make you feel nervous. I thought overall it went well. The PD (program director) told me to call him next Friday. Don't know if I'll still be doing the pre-match thing?

I came home and took a serious nap. I had woken up really early for the interview this morning and I also stayed up last night to do my own manicure. After my nap, instead of feeling refreshed, I felt as if the world, my world, is spinning out of control. I felt heavy-headed and nauseated. I noticed the messes that have gathered around me, clothes on the bed, pots and pans out of their place in the kitchen. . . I started remembering the chief resident asking me how my military commitment (one weekend a month, 2 weeks a year) would figure into my intern schedule, then later the PD asked me what are the chances that my unit or myself will be deployed. . .I assured them both that my medical training comes first and that the army promotes that, but still what if the war goes badly and they needed even little old me to be over there? Then I read Laurel’s latest blog on 'attachment parenting' which means you’re there to respond to your baby’s every need every moment of the day. . . it called into question my plans and ability to have a baby during residency and then remembering with chagrin that I am now closer to age 30 than 20. . .I looked around once again at my messy home and mentally planned for a major cleaning day after work tomorrow or on Saturday. . . I’m thinking of the q3 call schedule I’ll be on as an intern next year, I remember hubby’s plan to take classes on top of his full-time job, and realizing how our house might look then! I remember my cat, meowing incessantly to be fed and shedding hair on my carpet which needs to be vaccumed often. . .then, I recall being all psyched up, standing tall and confident in my black suit before the interview today and telling myself, “I can do it all, I can do it”….but now in my PJs and with make-up off, standing in the mist of mess and with thoughts going in a hundred directions, I started to ask, “am I kidding myself?” I just felt like I don't have it together, I became very overwhelmed….

I didn’t know where to start to sort out all the mess, both environmentally and mentally. . .I started with having a bowl of ice cream, it calmed my nausea and gave me a boost of energy. . .”okay,” I said to myself, “first thing is first.” I need to find my cell phone, which I had lost touch with since yesterday, I found it in a Target bag that I haven’t unpacked from the store last night. . .I had 7 missed calls from hubby who wanted to hear about my interview. . .then I turned off the radio and TV, don’t need more noise and more news on the war in Iraq, then, the most brilliant idea came to my head, Enya! So I logged onto http://www.pandora.com/ and tuned into my Enya radio station. Her gentle voice and musical sounds calmed me.

The world stopped spinning miraculously (was it Enya, ice cream or both?). My head feels light again, nausea is gone, Enya is still on in the background. Yes, just maybe, I can make it work, I can do it all. . .I felt everything will be okay. . .I will start with hanging up my interview clothes and tidying up a bit, hubby will come home soon, I'll bounce some thoughts off of him, we'll have dinner, I'll sleep, then go to work. Then savior weekend will come so I can clean this messy place I call my home and my life.

Best Friends

From our girls-only-plus-nursing-baby sleepover on December 30, 2006.

Laurel, Linda holding Zachary, and Shoreh.

Latest in Army Wear

". . . battle-tested in the sands of Iraq and at Army training centers.
This isn't a cosmetic redesign of the uniform. It is a functionality change of the uniform that will improve the ability of Soldiers to execute their combat mission. Every change was made for a reason. There were 18 changes made to the uniform, to include removing the color black and adapting the digital print from the Marine Corps uniform to meet the needs of the Army."

Excerpt and image from:

http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/systems/ground/acu.htm

I spent this first weekend of the New Year playing "soldier." It was drill weekend with the Texas Army National Guard. I was happy to have procured a set of the new ACU (army combat uniform.) Everyone in the army is gradually switching over to the new uniforms. I was one of only 3 people in my unit wearing the old BDU (battle dress uniform). I had planned on NOT purchasing one until I am the absolute last person to be wearing the old jungle fatigues or until the army mandates everyone to switch to the new outfit. As an officer, we are required to purchase it with our own money while the enlisted side gets them issued (free). The whole outfit with boots and badges cost close to $250. That was just a little too much for an outfit I'll wear once a month! However, as luck would have it. . .actually a really nice NCO (non-commissioned officer) had connections to someone in supply who had extra sets of the ACUs and so us officers got to pick some out. I wear size small in the unisex uniforms and there were no size small! So, cleverly, a couple of us drove to a nearby Army Navy store to see if they would be willing to take the GI (government issued) sets for ones in the right size for us. As it turns out, they were willing to trade with $10 for "restocking fee." I purchased new patchs (unit patch, US flag, rank patch, name patch, etc.), bought matching sand-colored shirts and belt and paid just a little over $50! And I did get my size boots for free from supply. Aside from cosmetic differences, the ACUs are teflon-coated and have tiny patches for IR light (infrared red) identification during night navigation, and best of all, no ironing required! The worst part of the army get-up: the black beret, it's ill-fitting, unsightly and uncomfortable! I hope who ever in the higher ups that authorized the beret will realize what a mistake it is and design something else for us.

Our unit patch, worn on the left arm. That's the Texas Lone Star. The new ACU has everything velcro, which replaced sewn-on patches and buttons.

The USA flag patch, worn over the right arm, signifies support for American troops deployed in the current war.

Here's the old Vietnam era-like "woodland" pattern uniform. I had spent hundreds of dollars on two sets of these, and now they are out of style in only a few years! What am I to do with them? The guys in the unit suggested that they make good hunting outfits. Hmm, if hubby ever picks up the sport of game hunting, he's got two sets of very sturdy and good-looking camouflage! From now on, I'll let hubby wear 'em for his paintball games if he likes. The pants and jackets are loose-fitting so I think they'll fit a range of sizes. If any friends out there who has a penchant for hunting deers or ducks or plans to engage in friendly paintball games, you are welcome to my clothes.

This old BDU pattern, however, is rampant in today's youth hip-pop fashion. You can buy anything from swimwear to capri pants.

My old retiring combat boots. Kitty finds the shoestrings amusing. Okay, they nor the wearer was ever in actual combat, but together, we did go through a few days of harsh wilderness in the Houston desert for field exercises. (a.k.a. Officer Basic Course, summer 2004) There are still dirt from that summer that never came out of those shoes.

Life in the New Year...so far

Started work today at another new hospital/clinic, Methodist Charlton. I'm striving to make a good impression since I'm interviewing there soon. This is the month of interviews, I have four in total. Finally managed to zip up my black suit skirt, but definitely not as "skinny" as I was in college. I only wore the suit once for medical school interview, so I wasn't about to waste money to buy another one, so tight it's going to have to be. Hmm, I should really get back to aerobics. If I was a resolution-maker, this would be on my list. Another item would be to get enough sleep! No matter what I do, it seems like I always have to wake up too early!

We learned from our little experiment of keeping Kitty indoors for 4 days (while we went back to Arkansas) that she is a little psycho! She bit small patches of her own fur off, leaving small areas of bare pink skin! Not only that, the inside of her front legs are also missing fur! Remember she has a near-bare belly from licking! She's asking for another trip to the vet not that either one of us is looking forward to that. Can I even ask for a day off to take my cat to the vet? "Yes, my cat is sick because she has psychogenic licking or feline form of trichlomania." What is going on with this cat? Even though I know there is such a service, but I stop my pet-lovingness at taking her to a pet psychologist. She is one high-strung cat or really didn't like staying home alone. Well, other than that, she seems to be doing well now that we are back. She's still my cutie Kitty! She's also appreciating going outside for her potty time again.

On another note, hubby had one of his famous nightmares the other night. He relishes in telling me about them in the morning and I like hearing about them since my dreams are so incredibly mundane; his nightmares range from the bizzare to the scary to the fantastical. I should really help him start a journal of his many nightmares/dreams. Well, he dreamed that I took in a litter of orphaned baby mice because I couldn't bare seeing them die. Soon, they grew and multiplied until some were attacking and biting him all over and then he woke up. Ha ha!! In reality, I would never take in a litter of mice and even if I did, Kitty wouldn't let them last long. Yes, she's a mouser.