The Weather, Feeling Blue, and My Skin

How do you mark the beginning of summer? For me, it's when I get into my car and realize I have to turn on the AC and my nose starts to perspire while I wait for the cold air to permeate. This happened yesterday in the balmy weather of 85 degrees. By evening, however, a powerful tree-shaking, hail-pelleting storm came in. This morning, I woke up to a cool weather of just 59 degrees! I guess summer is not yet here afterall.

Hail, size of mothballs, as seen in my "backyard." Okay, we don't have a backyard as we live in an apartmtent. . .this reminds me, I have to check on our cars for hail damage!

Another thing I woke up with this morning is the dreadful remembrance of yet another wrong diagnosis and mishap I made on the CS/PE exam. My day pretty much spiraled down before it had a chance to start while I was still in bed. I think there's a good chance I failed! Hubby reassured me I didn't, his exact colorful words were, " don't worry, I bet on the cat's life that you didn't!" Poor Kitty, I'm glad her life doesn't really depend on my success, but I'm thankful for hubby's optimism. He is the more optimistic of us two. So I'm struggling to get out of bed and start on my long list of to-dos. I wish I could just hibernate until June when the mailman delivers the news! I know, I know, I have already made up my mind NOT to worry until the actual score comes in. But this is so much easier said than done. Statistically speaking, the vast majority of students pass, but I don't find security in statistics anymore. First off, I know my own weak areas, and secondly, I have morphea! What's morphea? It's a localized skin condition that affects 25 people per million per year in the US, and I have it!

Yes, I am a very unique and dare I say "special" person. My best friend, Shoreh, a fellow doctor, says I'm a medical miracle and should be photographed and published in a journal. Well, my dermatologist wasn't as enthusiastic as her. I got my second skin biopsy in a matter of months and morphea was confirmed as the diagnosis. It is also known as localized scleroderma, which is just a patch of skin on my trunk that's different than normal skin. It's darker and harder than normal skin. It doesn't hurt or itch, the cause is unknown, it's not inherited, it's benign and there's no treatment. It's like it just showed up one day and it decided to be part of my skin. Well, I'm grateful that it's not a full-fledged autoimmune disorder or cancer. Still, it bewilders me that it's so weird and rare! My skin seems to be frought with problems: I had terrible acne that required a heavily regulated and teratogenic medication (Accutane) to treat, I have a little red bumpy thing on my chest known as a keloid, and now morphea! No more diagnoses, please! The skin is the biggest organ system, though. BTW, my dermatologist was the best, the kind of doctor you want to see if you have to see doctors, he graduated from my school, in fact!:)

Okay, I'm determined to get myself out of this dump, even if I have to pray continuously. I'm going to return some books to the school library and I'm going to run by the yarn store now.