Obamamania

"Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King Jr could march, Martin marched so Obama could run."

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness. . .

. . .gosh, I need to be working on both. . .

. . .after residency.

One with Many Labels

My first fake nails!

I got my nails done last weekend. The picture is not an actual picture of my real nails as I'm too lazy to get the camera and take a pic, but my nails look just like that. I was convinced I wanted the new gel overlay french manicure but the Vietnamese lady convinced me acrylic tips would be stronger and longer lasting. The truth is, not many people are experienced enough to do gel overlays which takes longer and costs more. After a week, I'm happy to say my nails still look like they were just done, not even a scratch! They really stand up to any activity you put your nails through. Acrylics rule!! It's nice because because only the very tip of every nail is glued on, the rest of the nails are my own, albeit reinforced with a a very strong yet clear layer of acrylic mixture. Ingenious! I love how my nails look so feminine and clean! So, they should last about 3 weeks until new nails grow out after which I have to spend oodles of money again and get them re-filled.

January is gone for good. It's been a good month in the sense I was on Pulmonary and had my weekends off, but the bad side is my days were 12-13 hour days. I rarely saw the sun since I left home in the darkness of dawn and returned to an already darkened sky. Not a schedule I liked at all, but it's over for now. I'm back on wards, yes, I'll have to spend some nights in the hospital but atleast the other days I get to come home at a decent hour.

But boy did I make up for lack of sun today! It was a beautifully sunny day and I took Hiro out for a much needed walk. No amount of begging could deter hubby's resolve to study for his exam on Monday (can you believe it?), so I went out alone with Hiro. I discovered a great walking/jogging trail nestled in a nearby apartment property! How happy I was to get away from the hustle and noise of street cars and enter the sanctuary of quiet squirrels and ducks! A rather unfortunate thing happened, though, I lost my phone along the way. When I found it, it was already ran over by a car!:( Looks like I will be shopping for a new phone tomorrow.

Of course anyone would agree, there are a lot of depressing things in the hospital, but to me, people on dialysis and people on ventilators have to be some of the most depressing. It's just a feeling I get when I step into the hemodialysis quarter or the ICU. Sometimes I step back and think, how far medicine has come to be able to take over the function of a whole organ system, like the kidneys and lungs, when they fail. It's a bit unnatural and awe-inspiring at the same time. Anyways, just some of my random thoughts.

I was warned about Dr. H, the pulmonologist, before I started working with him in January. "He will pimp you to death, " is his reputation. He deeply humbled me into realizing how much I don't know. Most of the time, I had no pride to be hurt because the way I see it, everytime I find out I don't know something is an opportunity to patch up that gap in my medical knowledge. Dr .H is not a natural-born American (he's South American, I believe) so he has a peculiar way of being honest and probing. Like when he talks to patients who are smokers, "so, are you going to stop smoking, or is that too much to ask?", he would say with a straight poker face. To this question, the patient would usually give a laugh and pause. Then Dr. H would continue, " I just want to know because I don't want to waste my time." The other thing he likes to do is to calculate for patients how much their smoking has cost them, monetary-wise. "Oh my, you could have bought a house!" or "for that much money, you could take a vacation in Hawaii. . .with your daughter." Somehow, Dr. H has a way of sizing you up and do it unapologetically. I have only seen that kind of straightforwardness and honesty in foreigners. Americans are very big on political correctness and politeness, a kind of fakeness that we get comfortable with and expect from strangers and professionals. Hmm, just another observation.

Another random observatin of mine: I can't believe skinny jeans are still in!! Makes me want to go and buy another pair! Should I or not? Decisions, decisions. . .

I'm working with another nice resident this month, wohoo!! He is giving us five days off, one extra day than usual!:) My attending, however, is one I would rather not work with, and I will just say that much. But oh will, sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.

I will end this post with this quote:

" Happiness in life is nothing more than a good health

and a bad memory."

The NEW Golden Rule. . .

"Those who have gold rules."

Isn't that terrible?!
Cynicism is infectious, as hubby replied.

He Says. . .

Hubby said today:

"I weigh myself every morning, and from that I figure out how much I can eat for the day."
(Hmm, how does that work again?)

"If I have a daughter one day, I want her to be just like you."
(Ahhh, thanks!)

Perspectives

"You can always have your way if your have enough ways."

--Unknown


"If all our misfortunes were laid in one heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart."

--Socrates


How's that to chew on, or better yet, to ruminate over?

"Wisdom" from the Web

Here are some memorable quotes I found on the internet. My corresponding numbered responses are at the end.

**************

1. “Worse. The way we used to train physicians is that you worked all the time. You were on call all the time. Medicine was holy work—a calling. It was a privilege and an honor—you should sacrifice everything. Everything else came second. It didn’t matter if you didn’t eat during the day, it didn’t matter if you didn’t sleep. Now, the thinking is, if people don’t sleep they make mistakes, and if they make mistakes it’s bad for the hospital. So residents are being taught medicine as a career choice as opposed to a profession, a calling. They’re being taught as shift workers, which I think is a huge problem. When that clock hits a certain time, they have to leave the hospital.”
--An anonymous physician’s answer to the question: Is doctor training better or worse than it used to be?

2. “Absolutely. Patients get these gowns that hardly cover half the body. And the chairs are not comfortable. At the sickest point in their life, they’re sharing a bathroom with strangers.”
--Another anonymous physician’s answer to the question: People complain that hospitals are dehumanizing. True?

3. “I single-handedly destroyed an ecosystem that year.”
--an intern speaking of the amount of paper he used during internship.

4. "When you don't know something, didn't check it, or forgot -- admit it. Never, ever, ever, ever say it was "normal" or "fine". This is the cardinal sin during internship. If you do this and are caught (and trust me, you will be caught somewhere along the line), your trust/reliability will be blown and it is very difficult to get it back. High school, college, and medical school are all about hiding what you don't know. Internship is all about showing those you are working with what you don't know so they can teach you. This is very difficult since you are out of practice. "
-A physician's advice for the intern

*********************

My responses, numbered for above:

1. I don't agree with this physician at all. Why would anyone think a stressed out physician who's getting a divorce and on the verge of a drinking problem would make a better physician? That's not a stereotype but rather an accurate description of WAY too many docs. I plan to be a doctor who (*shock*) sleeps and eats reasonably well, and yes, I actually plan to follow the very recommendations I give my patients, namely, eat healthy, exercise regularly, and decrease stress. Okay, maybe I won't be a super housekeeper and might even become a recluse in the social scene, but I plan to take care of myself during residency, dammit! And I won't feel guilty about it!

2. and 3. These two quotes are uncannily true and funny.

4. *Nodding* in agreement. Amen to that advice.

Inner Melancholy

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."
---Henry David Thoreau

I like this quote. I first heard it when I was in high school, in my most pensive and introspective time of life. I remembered it again today. Another quote I chanced upon today that is sooooo very true:

"Cancer ends more lives than it ever kills."
--anonymous

More than death, I fear the disruption of life, the pain and suffering and the end of normalcy that comes with cancer news. Two of my mom's friends were found to have cancer this past year. I became very despondent for a while. Cancer, I fear it more than human terrorists. If you think about it, cancer IS terrorism, terrorism of our body and livelihood of the most insidious kind. There should be a mass "war on cancer," except it's a war that's hard to win, not unlike the actual "war on terrorism." No other disease brings on so much fear in me. I'd much rather die of or see my loved ones die of heart disease or stroke or something with a bit of predictability and control. Cancer attacks when you are least expecting it and it attacks with a fierce and silent vengence that no human technology or medicine can combat. That's the definition of terrorism, isn't it? I remember reading and learning about the mechanisms of cancer in medical school and actually feeling really angy about it, real anger like I'd have for someone who violated others. Cancer's very lethality lies in its stealth. Cancer doesn't just hurt the body, it disjoints the whole family, and the family suffers right along with the patient not any worse than the patient. My only solace is that God delievers His promises of peace and love during such horrific times.

A Card.

I received a card from Laurel today. I love it when she sends cards for the small occasions in life.

Watermelon, my favorite fruit. And it says, "A life without love is like a year without summer." -Swedish Proverb-

Nice quote.

Things People Say

"If you're gold, then you will shine here."
--A rock star speaking of Beijing during an interview on NPR

"When falling rain flirts with below freezing weather, things can get dangerous very quickly."
--The Weatherman on TV

"If he doesn't care, why should we?"
--Doctor speaking of a patient who's repeatedly non-compliant with taking his medications

"I thought ironic meant 'made up entirely of iron.'"
- Arthur Spooner in an episode of "The King of Queens"

Medicine, glamorous?

I overheard a resident talking recently, "when people ask me about medicine, I tell them 'don't get into it"; it's not glamorous to have to go to the hospital at 5 in the morning."

Ha ha, I can agree with that sometimes!

A Piece of Good Advice

I am in the middle of my PM&R rotation at downtown Baylor right now. (PM&R = physical medicine and rehabilitation, also know as Plenty of Money and Relaxation). TBI stands for traumatic brain injury. The patients on this service have all suffered, obviously, brain injury, most commonly in the form of MVA (motor vehical accident), CVA (cerebrovascular accident) or anoxic brain injury from drug OD, etc. Many patients are young, and some are left severely disabled for the rest of their lives due to their injury. Unable to move, unable to speak. Often, the family members of these patients are always by their sides, pushing their loved ones in wheelchairs to rehab, helping to interpret the patient's tangled words for the doctors. One day, after coming out of the room of a particular patient who's devoted mother was at the bedside, the seasoned doctor said to me, "you know, I use to pray that nothing horrible would happen to anyone in my family, but now I just pray that God will give me the strength and courage in that situation."

I was touched by that comment. And I think I really needed to hear it. Sometimes, I'm prone to live in fear of the unknown and the future, but fear can do nothing but paralyze me. I need to pray more often for God to give me strength and courage to weather through life's trauma and tragedies. . . like so many amazingly strong family members do I 've see in the hospital.